Previous Review | Next Review

Faithful Hearts Part 2 Chapter 11

SQUIDGE FACE
Disclaimer: This review is for entertainment and humor purposes only. We're not trying to bash or humiliate the author of the fanfiction, we're just having fun. If you are the author and do see this, we hope you can appreciate our desire to do this because your fanfic must have been really snarkable.

Welcome to this edition of Mystery Fiction Theater N! Reading the info page is recommended before reading the actual MST.

Today's Review is Faithful Hearts Part 2 Chapter 11 by DisneyFan-01

CHAPTER 11
____________
PRINCE
ALI ABABWA
Iddy: Prince of the
Kingdom of Stupid Names…



Boy, did Genie make big.
Kleo: Make big WHAT? Big noise? Big entrance? Make love to you long time?
Not only did he make outfits for Donald, Goofy, and me,
Kleo: Screw Aladdin, this is the most important part,
MARINA'S WARDROBE
but he made hundreds of different servants for Al whose name was now Prince Ali Ababwa.
Klogg: At least he didn't change his name to Prince Consuela Bananahammock.
Kleo: Maybe YOU should change your name to Crap Bag
Donald, Goofy, and I were disguised as servants sitting next to the sedan where Ali sat on top of Abu the elephant. Silver stayed behind as he planned to join us later in the palace.
Klogg: Maybe she's actually sparing us the mental image of seeing Silver in ridiculous Arabic clothing.

We entered Agrabah in a big parade with Genie as the master of ceremonies. There was music and entertainment for our entrance with all of the servants which brought the attention of everyone in the city.
Kleo: There was sentence confusion with all of our words which brought the hatred of everyone here upon you.
The song Genie and the servants sang went like this as we came up to the palace gates:

"Make way. . . for Prince Ali!
Say 'Hey!'. . . it's Prince Ali!"
Iddy: Do we still have the 'Use in Case of Musical Interlude' Gun?

(Genie)
"Hey, clear the way in the ol' bazaar
Hey, you!
Let us through!
It's a bright new star!
Come be the first on the block to meet his eye
Make way! Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Are you gonna love this guy!!
Kleo: I can't believe someone over the age of 12 actually thinks this is entertaining.

Prince Ali
Fabulous he
Ali Ababwa!
Genuflect,
Show some respect
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best and stay calm
Brush up your Sunday salaam
Then come and meet his spectacular coterie!!
Klogg: What exactly is the goddamn POINT of this? What, is it so special that we're supposed to imagine the exactly same scene in the film just with
Marina's face copy-pasted everywhere!?

Prince Ali
Mighty is he
Ali Ababwa
Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
Kleo: Anyone else think Genie might be gay?
He faced the galloping hordes!
A hundred bad guys with swords!
Who sent those goons to their lords?
Why Prince Ali!

(Servant)
He's got seventy-nine golden camels
Purple peacocks, he's got fifty-three
(Genie)
When it comes to exotic-type mammals
Has he got a zoo?
I'm telling you!
(Servants)
It's a world class menagerie!

(Genie)
Prince Ali
Handsome is he
Ali Ababwa
That physique
How can I speak
Weak at the knee?
Well, get on out on that square!
Adjust your veil and prepare
To gawk and grovel and stare
At Prince Ali!
Klogg: I hate handsome pretty-boy prince types. Specially when they start getting all heroic... and put a world you split in half back together... and kill your Clockwork Beasts…
Kleo: *pause* .... Prince Ali is hot. I'd do him.
Klogg: *chokes Kleo*
AND STEAL YOUR SERVANT GIRLS.

(Servants [as we were entering the palace gates])
He's got ninety-five white Persian monkeys
(He's got the monkeys! Let's see the monkeys!)
And to view them, he charges no fees!
(Is he generous? Oh, so generous!)
Kleo: Letting people see your monkey for free isn't generous, it's called flashing.
He's got slaves! He's got servants and flunkies
Proud to work with him
They bow to him whim
Love serving him
They're lousy with loyalty to Ali!
Kleo: "Lousy with loyalty" what the HELL?
Prince Ali!!
Klogg: So she didn't even copy and paste the lyrics? ... If that doesn't prove she has no life, I dunno what does.
[We entered the palace]
Prince
ALI!!!
Kleo: I love the use of description here. It’s very evocative.
Amorous he!
Ali Ababwa!
(Genie)
Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see
And that good people is why
He dolled up and dropped by
(Servants)
With sixty elephants, llamas galore
With bears and lions
A brass band and more
With his forty fakirs
His cooks and bakers
His birds that warble on key!
Make way. . .
For Prince ALIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!"
Kleo: Wait, what was his name again?

Genie went back into the lamp hidden underneath "Ali's" turban before Al stood on Carpet and flew down in front of the Sultan on his throne. Jafar, the royal vizier we met the day before, slammed the front door after pushing all of the other servants back outside on his own.
Kleo: YAY that guy. I'd do him. :l
Klogg: You'd do EVERYONE you whore! >:/
Kleo: *deadpan* Yes, yes I would. Everybody. Anywhere. *slowly leans over to him* ...Except you.

"Splendid!" Sultan Hamid applauded for Ali's entertainment. "Absolutely marvelous!"
Ali cleared his throat and hopped off Carpet, "Your Majesty, Sultan Hamid. I am Prince Ali Ababwa. I have journey from my kingdom for a long distance to seek your daughter, Princess Jasmine's hand in marriage."
The little Sultan hopped off his throne and shook hands with Ali, "Prince Ali Ababwa! I am so delighted to meet you! Oh, and this is my royal vizier Jafar. He's delighted, too."
Jafar looked at Ali and spoke unimpressed, "Ecstatic."
Jiminy whispered in my ear, "Well, here's a familiar face."
Goofy asked quietly, "Are you sure he won't recognize us in our new duds from Genie?"
Kleo: Why wouldn't he, he's not stupid like you 'tards.
I kept my head down, "Just don't make eye contact. Keep your head down like a bow in the Sultan's presence and only speak when you are spoken to. Besides, loyalty like Jafar wouldn't look a servant in the right in the eye."
Iddy: You can be recognized without being STARED IN THE FACE yaknow. :/
Of course, I only knew that was a fact to some royalty and loyalty.
Kleo: She keeps swapping around ‘loyalty’ and ‘royalty’… and then using them both at the same time?

Just in case I was wrong about the culture of Agrabah, I kept half my face hidden in a veil.
Jafar spoke to Ali, "But I'm afraid, Prince Abooboo. . ."
"Ababwa," Ali corrected him with a bow.
Jafar brushed Ali's turban feather out of his face, "Whatever. You can't just come parading in here uninvited and expect to-"
"By Allah," said the Sultan to Carpet. "This certainly is one remarkable devise. Umm. . . you don't suppose I could, uh. . . hmm?"
Kleo: “Rape it? Of course, lemme help you.”
Ali smiled, "Why certainly, Your Majesty. Allow me." He helped the little Sultan up on Carpet, but before Carpet took off, Jafar slammed the end of his staff on one of his tassels.
"Sire," he said. "I must advise against this."
"Oh, button up, Jafar," the Sultan kicked the staff off Carpet. "Learn to have a little fun." And Carpet took off with the Sultan yelling like a little kid on a big ride.
Goofy was laughing at how fun that look and I bursted into giggles when Carpet rode the Sultan under Abu's belly.
Klogg: OLD MEN ON FLYING CARPETS. HOW
FUN.
While the Sultan was having the time of his old life, Jafar asked Ali, "And. . . just what kingdom did you say you've traveled from?"
Ali paused and tried not to stutter, "Um. . . well, pretty far. I'm sure it's a lot further than you've traveled."
"Try me," Jafar raised a brow.
Carpet was now losing control with the Sultan's driving and flew over Ali and Jafar's head missing them by and inch. He turned and came back toward them with Ali and Jafar ducking, but Jafar's parrot Iago ended up being chased down in the air until he crashed into a pillar.
Kleo: Okay WAIT is there ANY REASON why we know the damn parrot's name – nobody’s said it EVER
My head was still down, but I kept my ears opened. I listened to the sound of the wind Carpet was leaving in his wake.
"Duck," I said before I bent down.
"Huh?" Donald asked.
Goofy got down with me, but Donald was knocked over when Carpet went zipping over us.
I raised a brow, "Must you always mistake dodging from your name?"
Iddy: Can't you say something else like "Get down!" instead?
Kleo: Remember how incredibly stupid they are; they'd probably start dancing.

Donald growled at me as Goofy and I stood up straight.
The sultan circled around once more and called, "Look out! I'm coming in for a landing, Jafar! Watch this!"
Carpet flew towards the slick floor and came to a sudden stop with the Sultan sliding towards Ali and Jafar with a big smile.
"Spectacular, Your Highness," Jafar spoke unimpressed.
Kleo: Look, what did the comma ever do to you?!
Poor Carpet was so dizzy that he couldn't even walk. He staggered over to us and looked like he was going to faint. I held my arm out and he fell over it like a rag.
Iddy: ... IT IS A RAG. Also how can a carpet look like it's going to faint. It... would kinda need to have a face for that.
I gently folded him over and made him rest on my arms.
"Take a rest, boy," I stroked his soft fabric. "You've had enough for now."
Kleo: How does she know it's a boy? For it to be male, wouldn't it need-- MARINA WATCH WHERE YOU'RE STROKIN IT.
Goofy quietly chuckled, "Ah-yuck. The Sult'n sure is jolly."
I nodded, "Just the way I've heard about him in school."
The Sultan said, "Oh yes. He's perfect. So young and handsome, full of spirit and talent. Jasmine will like this one."
Iddy: "He let me fly around on his sentient rug - he'll make the perfect husband!"
Ali smiled, "And I'm pretty sure I'll like Princess Jasmine."
"Your Highness, no," Jafar stepped between Ali and the Sultan. "I must preside of Jasmine's behalf. This boy is no different than the others. What's make him think he is worthy for the princess?"
Ali said, "Your Majesty, I am Prince Ali Ababwa. Just let me meet your daughter and I'll be sure to win her hand."
"How dare you!" said a voice at the other side of the throne room. We all looked. It was Princess Jasmine. "All of you!"
The Sultan, Jafar, and Ali had their tails between their legs when they knew she heard everything.
Kleo: Fuckin' furries.
Jasmine yelled, "Standing around here decided on my future? I am not a prize to be won and I am not going to be acquainted with another fraud!" And she stomped out of the room.
Iddy: THAT'S RIGHT. NEVER LET SOMEONE
ELSE DECIDE WHO YOU SHOULD MARRY. EVEN IF HE'S HANDSOME, RICH AND LOVES YOU. ... wait.
Kleo: Cha, *I*'d marry him. :| Were you listening to the song, Jasmine? Seventy-five golden camels, SEVENTY-
FIVE. He can lift TEN MEN. So many lice he doesn't know what to DO with them.
Klogg: ... I HAVE SHEEP. D8 I have like... 20 of them! ... Well HAD them.
Kleo: ....And?
Klogg: ... That's better than CAMELS. :l And LICE.

"Oh, dear," said the Sultan.
Donald spoke in the corner of his bill, "Oh, that hurt."
Kleo: ...I'm sorry but how did ANY of that sentence occur.
The Sultan then walked Ali toward us, "Oh, don't worry, Prince Ali. Just give Jasmine a little time to cool off. She just gets a little hard when it comes to choosing a suitor. I'll have you escorted to one of our finest guest rooms."
Kleo: Hard, eh?



That night after getting Silver into the palace
Klogg: Using a CRANE
we were all in the front yard of Aladdin's new room.
Kleo: Yard... room? Yard. Room.
Far above us was the balcony to Princess Jasmine's room.
When Aladdin didn't quite know on what to do now, he kept pacing back and forth thinking out loud. While he was doing that, Genie and Carpet were playing a game of chess
Klogg: Chess didn't EXIST then! And there!
Abu was trying to eat some banana's but it wasn't easy since he didn't have fingers anymore and was probably on his fiftieth try, Silver was cleaning his pistol
Kleo: bow chicka wow wow
Goofy was watching Aladdin's pacing, Donald and Jiminy were looking for the Nightmares through the radar, and I was lying down against a tree staring up at the stars above the balcony.
Jiminy was on my shoulder when he said, "It looks like things are quiet tonight."
"Oh, they might show up," said Silver. "Just wait 'n' see."
Klogg: "Oh yeah, for a second I forgot about the actual reason we're on this journey!"
Aladdin sighed, "What'm I gonna do? Jasmine won't even let me talk to her."
Goofy said, "Wull, I don't think walkin' back 'n' forth isn't gonna help you."
I stretched my legs out with a short grunt and yawned, "No kidding, Al. You're really starting to bore me."
Kleo: How did you FORGET? Your
MAIN job is to AMUSE PRINCESS MARINA, GET TO IT GO GO
"So, move," said Genie to Carpet.
Carpet took his queen and knock out Genie's bishop. Checkmate.
"That's a good move," said Genie as Rodney Dangerfield. "I can't believe it. I'm losin' to a rug."
Iddy: That is pretty pathetic.
"Genie! I need help!" Al begged.
Genie came up to him as Jack Nicholson, "Alright, Sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the young lady, ya gotta be a straight shooter."
"What?" Al didn't understand.
Silver said, "Just tell 'er the truth, Lad."
I said, "It's best to be yourself, Al."
"Yeah," said Donald. "It'th inthide that countsh."
Kleo: What's inside YOU only counts if it's a l'orange. : |
"No way!" Al frowned and put his turban back on. "If Jasmine found out I was some crummy Street Rat. . . she'd laugh at me."
Genie went into Al's turban and changed it into a lamp shade speaking as a light bulb, "A woman can always appreciate a man who can make her laugh."
But Al frowned and clicked Genie's light off.
Genie popped back to his regular self and handed Al his turban, "Al. . . all joking aside."
Al grabbed the turban, "I'm really serious about this, Genie. If I could just have at least a minute with Jasmine, I'm sure I could convince her that I'm the right prince for her."
I rolled my eyes, "You're not really a prince, Al. Remember that."
Iddy: Jeez,
Marina's a real downer.
Silver switched his gun back to his hand, "If the Princess met yeh on the streets, shouldn't yeh just tell her who you really are?"
"Yeah," said Jiminy. "After all, you saved her in the market place."
"Yeah, but that was when I was a Street Rat," Al sighed. "Now I'm Prince Ali. Jasmine wouldn't want anything to do with what I used to be."
"Better be sure," I mumbled. "It's best to give Jasmine what she really wants."
"But what is that?" Al asked.
Genie's ear grew with his hand against it
Kleo: ...... o c O
"This might be our chance to find out."
Jiminy frowned, "Now, Genie. It's not nice to ease drop."
Klogg: It's EAVESDROP you RETARD.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Genie didn't listen to him.
He made a large phonograph appear. It was recording every sound that was coming from the balcony loud and clear for us.
Kleo: A... what? ...This genie sucks.
Jasmine was looking up into the stars. She said, "Is this really suppose to be my fate? Force to marry someone who doesn't even know me?" She made a depressing sigh and leaned against the railing, "What other choice do I have?"
Iddy: ... Dude, run away, like I did.
RUN FAR AWAY FROM MARINA AS POSSIBLE.
Kleo: This is like... ugh, she can't describe ANYTHING other than "they MADE a *noun*/*verb*" ... it's like watching a retarded kid run into a glass door over and over without stopping him.

Like a breath of cool air, she began to sing to herself in a very lovely voice. A voice so sweet, yet singing a song so sad. A song so sad,
Kleo: dfdhfhhj *beats herself over the head*
that all of us stood and stared at Jasmine up in her balcony. She was completely unaware of us watching her. Her lovely voice sang these words:

"Lucky bird inside a gilded cage
Golden words spoke by an ancient sage
Everything you may have in life
Still all you have is dust
Iddy: OH GOD TWO IN
ONE CHAPTER? WHERE'S THE BUCKETS, I NEED TO REVIVE THE BUCKETS

Must I yearn forever to be free
Free to climb a tree and ponder
Free to wander
There's no desire I hold fonder
Than to be
Simply me
To be free
Kleo: I'd sympathise. If this wasn't garbage.

How ungrateful is this lucky bird
Spurning privilege for one simple word
Freedom to stretch these golden wings
Freedom to touch the sky

Why, some would ask, would she want to be
Free to throw away a treasure
Poor with pleasure
I'd sacrifice riches beyond measure
Just a girl
With a boy
What a perfect fantasy
To find love
To feel joy
To be really free."
Iddy: Bitch you
RUN AWAY. Then you'll be free. Go find a new home. One ruled by a king made of cubes. And date a cyborg. :B

Tears were filling Goofy's eyes. He wiped them away with a sigh, "Gawrsh, what a pretty voice. Such a sad song."
Genie blew his nose into a handkerchief with a loud honking sound. He sniffled, "Looks like I'm not the only one longing to be free. I feel her pain. I feel so moved."
"That's it!" I snapped my fingers. "Al! Give her a ride on Carpet. What better way to feel free than to fly beyond the clouds with the stars guiding your way?"
Genie suddenly hugged me, "Oh,
Marina! You're a genius! She's right, Al! That's all there is to it!"
Iddy: So the world famous romantic magic carpet ride scene was really all
MARINA'S IDEA. HAHAHAHAHAA please kill me.
"Genie, air please," I struggled to breath.
"Oh," he backed away awkwardly.
"You're right!" Al smiled. He put his turban on, "It's time for Prince Ali to have his chance."
Silver raised a brow, "You mean 'it's time for 'Aladdin' to have a chance'."
Genie said, "Al. . . If you really wanna win her. . . you should be yourself."
Al grunted, "That's the last thing I want.
Kleo: You don't want to win her?
Okay. . . I'm gonna go talk to her. I'm gonna be smooth, cool, and confident." He cleared his throat and asked us, "How do I look?"
I sighed and slightly rolled my eyes, "Like. . . a prince."
"Or a vampire on a day pass," Genie mumbled under his breath.
As Al got on Carpet and flew up to Jasmine's balcony, Donald, Goofy, Jiminy, Silver, and I were having a hard time to stop laughing at that last comment Genie said. Then when we saw Al as he was up on the balcony, I came up to Genie's side.
I said, "If you ask me, I think I'm starting to miss the Street Rat."
Genie said, "He's gotten addicted to the big blue lug."
I crossed my arms, "I just hope he uses his second wish soon. He'll keep his promise to you and you'll be free."
"I was thinkin' the same thing," said Goofy.
"Al shook hands on it," I pointed out. "He said as soon as he used his second wish he would use his third wish to set you free."
Kleo: LET'S POINT THIS OUT SOME MORE IN CASE IT BECOMES IMPORTANT
Genie smiled, "I guess I better see how Al's doing and work like Dr. Phil."
Klogg: Another Texan who I'd like to attack.
"Good luck," said Silver as Genie flew up under the balcony to where Carpet was leaving behind the phonograph so we could still listen in.
Genie asked him, "So, how's our little beau doing?"
Carpet answered by running his finger across to where his neck would be if he had a head. Al was having a hard time.
From what we were seeing, I crossed my arms, "Figures."
Goofy had his long ear lifted. He said, "Sound's like there's a tiger up there."
Iddy: ... How would you know specifically the sound was a tiger. O.o
Kleo: They were able to identify a monkey by its scream before

I explained, "I've heard that Princess Jasmine has a tiger for a pet like many other Arabian royalties.
Kleo: MAH TEXTBOOK LET ME
SHOW YOUS IT

I guess Al just got acquainted with him."
Silver leaned against the tree, "He's on 'is own with this one."
Iddy: Couldn't Silver just FLATTEN the tiger
Donald said, "Maybe Genie can help out a little. The leasht he can do ith give Al shome advice."
We watched as Genie changed himself into a bee to talk to Al unnoticed by Jasmine and her tiger, Rajah.
"Enough about you, Casanova," Genie buzzed into Al's ear. "Talk about her. You know, she's smart, fun, the hair, the eyes! Anything! Pick one."
"Uh," Al wasn't really sure on what to say. "Princess Jasmine. . . you are very. . ."
Even though nobody could hear from below, Goofy said, "Pretty."
Donald said, "Wonderful."
"Beautiful," I said.
Iddy: QUICK, EVERYBODY
YELL AS MANY ADJECTIVES AS POSSIBLE.
Kleo: USELESS
Klogg: HORNY
Kleo: ...Adjectives about HER, dumbass
Klogg: oh

Genie told him, "Glorious, magnificent. . . Punctual!"
"Punctual!" said Al.
"Punctual?!" Jasmine and the rest of us raised a brow.
"Sorry," Genie had his stinger between his legs.
Kleo: NO EW.
"Uh, beautiful!!" Al recovered his words.
Jasmine smiled and approached Al, "I'm rich, too."
"Yeah," Al smiled back.
"The daughter of Sultan Hamid," she added.
"I know," said Al.
Kleo: Y'know I don't think people generally called the Sultan by his real name, out of respect
Jasmine leaned against him a little seductively, "A fine bride for a prince."
Al tried not to stutter or gulp, "Uh. . . uh. . . yeah! A prince like me!"
I crossed my arms, "I know Jasmine's tone. This won't be pretty."
"You do?" Goofy asked.
I started a countdown from three when Jasmine said, "Right. A Prince like you. . . and every stuffed shirt, egotistical bragger I've met!!"
"Oooh, that hurtsh," said Donald.
"Told ya," I snickered.
Kleo: YOU CRASHED
AND BURNED, IS FUNNY TO ME
"MAYDAY! MAYDAY!!" Genie went crashing down to the floor with his stinger on fire.
Klogg: I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT
Jasmine stomped away back to her room. She cursed at Al, "Just go jump off a balcony for all I care."
"Ouch," I cringed.
"That was a real punch in t'e ribs," said Silver.
Kleo: PUNCH? TEA? RIBS?
GET IT ALL AT JIGGLY SILVER'S DAYTIME BARBEQUE
"Stop her!" said Genie. "Stop her! Want me t' sting 'er?"
"Buzz off!" Al nearly swatted him.
"Fine," said Genie. "But remember, beeeeeeee yourself."
And Genie zipped up into his lamp hidden under Al's turban. The phonograph disappeared with him.
"Hey!" Donald frowned. "C'mon, Genie! We wanna hear!"
All of us looked back up to the balcony. There was Al standing on the railing with Carpet underneath him. He took a big step off the railing and dropped down to Carpet.
"NO!" we heard Jasmine gasped.
"What?! What?" Al's head came back up.
Jasmine looked over the railing and found Al standing on a flying Carpet. He flew back up over the balcony.
Donald jumped up and down, "Oh, c'mon. I wanna know what'sh going on!"
Silver smirked, "He's asking her to go for a ride."
I asked, "You can hear them?"
"Aye," he pointed at his cyborg ear. "I be capable of hearin' nearly a mile away with t'is ear o' mine."

Kleo: Oh ho yeah right. So he gets to hear every time Marina goes to the bathroom?
Goofy asked, "What's the Princess sayin'?"
"You'll see right. . . now," Silver answered.
We looked back up and watched as Carpet took off with Aladdin and Jasmine.
I smiled, "It worked. Aladdin has offered her a ride to freedom.
Kleo:
BOW CHICKA WOW WOW
Iddy: Did we forget the innuendo count?
Kleo: Yes but please GOD let's not go back and check.
Just what she wanted."
Jiminy said, "Perhaps a few steps closer for Jasmine to choose him for her suitor."
Goofy asked, "You think he'll do good."
"Of course," Silver answered. "Ten drubloons say they'll share a good-night's kiss once they get back."
"Oh, I hope so," I sighed dreamily with folded hands. "A good-night kiss is soooo romantic."
Iddy: WATCH AS I FAWN LIKE A LITTLE SCHOOLGIRL
TEE HEE AREN'T I ADORABLE DESU
Donald said, "They do make a nice couple. . . but I jusht hope Al will be himshelf."
"So do I," said Jiminy. "That or at least tell her the truth because she's going to find out sooner or later. She might reject him for his lies."
Kleo: What's the POINT if you're just going to give away everything that happens because you've seen the movie. WHAT IS THE POINT.
Kleo: And y'know, why are they doing this, they don't seem to care whether Jasmine likes him or not.
Kleo: I can't STAND all this acting like the 'princesses' are lovely and gorgeous and without a single flaw and they could ONLY ever be paired up with the guy
Marina happened to meet already
Kleo: Heck what if SIlver and Jasmine would be a good couple? Every think of that? No. Because these characters are CARDBOARD.
Kleo: IS THERE ANY POINT TO YOUR LIVES.





Thanks for reading - as a token of gratitude we'd like to share with you the best Marina fanart we've seen to date.


It's wonderful.


Comments

( 24 Ratings — Give Us Ratings! )
kilo112205
Aug. 23rd, 2009 09:53 pm (UTC)
I lol'd at the chibi wolf. Seriously, I can draw better and that's saying something.


I hate when she puts the music text in her story. This chick needs to go take a writing clasa because I really don't think she knows what she's doing.
yaoihuntresse
Aug. 26th, 2009 05:11 am (UTC)
Too bad she's one of those writers that doesn't listen to the fact that her story is just a re-hash. BTW, I got a new chapter of JtE's mock up.
yaoihuntresse
Sep. 17th, 2009 07:12 pm (UTC)
Just want to tell you I got a new post for Faithful Hearts: http://www.projectafterforums.com/index.php?showtopic=926&pid=45476&st=180&#entry45476 and another one that's a fanfic of John the Enforer's story: http://www.projectafterforums.com/index.php?showtopic=1296
yaoihuntresse
Nov. 16th, 2009 05:17 am (UTC)
Hope I'm not bothering you, but I got a new chapter for Faith of the Heart (the new rewrite of Faithful hearts): http://www.projectafterforums.com/index.php?showtopic=1418 And how naively she defends Silver is pretty sad. Granted I did a character who did something similar with a fascist regime she was trying to join, but she was only 14 and honestly believed they'd make things better (a necessary evil.)
kilo112205
Nov. 17th, 2009 05:12 am (UTC)
Nah you're not bothering me. I'll take a look i havent read her second chapter. she's really updating slowly, it's going to take years for her to finish at this rate

lol JTE uploaded some new crap too, i decided to add him to my watch list for the lulz. still no luck milking the old chaps from him.
yaoihuntresse
Nov. 17th, 2009 06:59 am (UTC)
The sad thing with the re-write is that the new Marina comes off as being rather creepy. Like some really naive, irresponsible child trapped in the body of a 32-year-old. If Mickey and his crew were really as good guardians as she says they are, they would've made her act her age a long time ago.

Compared to his Sonic fic, Barrix is less Sue-ish. Though no less annoying.
zelda_queen
Sep. 22nd, 2011 03:57 am (UTC)
You know, for the life of me I can't understand why DF01 made Marina thirty-two to begin with. She never acts that age. DF01 was clearly modeling her behavior off of the various Disney princesses, and I think all of them (at least in the canon line-up) are in their late teens. Except for Snow White, who I think is fourteen or something.
yaoihuntresse
Sep. 22nd, 2011 02:37 pm (UTC)
Then again a lot of those princess are a lot more mature than Marina is.
zelda_queen
Sep. 22nd, 2011 02:50 pm (UTC)
I know, and that's also very annoying. >_< I mean, even the earlier princesses like Cinderella had a sense of responsibility. And heck, Rapunzel's entire schtick was that she was emotionally stunted because Mother Gothel treated her like a child and SHE is more focused and mature!

And thanks for the link! ^^ I'm giving it a scoping out. O_o I still can't get for the life of me why Tremors of all movies is included in there. Was Disney somehow involved? Because if she wanted a life-action movie verse in there, Narnia or Pirates of the Caribbean would work MUCH better.
yaoihuntresse
Sep. 22nd, 2011 05:59 pm (UTC)
She's a fan of Tremors. And tell me what you think of the new story.
zelda_queen
Sep. 23rd, 2011 03:36 am (UTC)
O_o Are you serious? Good lord, I'm all for author appeal (to an extent), but there's got to be some logic! You can't write up what is clearly a Disney-only fic and then shoehorn something else in. It's hardly like only using the works of Disney is severely limiting yourself. -_-

...I can see what you mean about Marina being childish. She's...still thirty-two? And skipping work to play pirates outside? And still afraid of the dark? 8( That's disturbing...
yaoihuntresse
Sep. 23rd, 2011 03:59 am (UTC)
If it was Don Blueth's stuff then that would be understandable and would fit in better.

When I come across these moments of hers, I can't help thinking of the movie, Chuck and Buck. Especially with how the film shows how creepy the man/woman-child type of person can truly be. If Marina was in her late teens then it wouldn't be too bad.

And the Winnie the Poo chapters are even worse.
zelda_queen
Sep. 23rd, 2011 04:35 am (UTC)
Oh lord, I didn't even make it to Winnie the Pooh. 8/ I have a feeling that I'll be doing a bit of scripting when I spork it.
yaoihuntresse
Sep. 23rd, 2011 08:17 am (UTC)
Good luck with that, because this WtP arc even more boring. The Kim Possible scene also has a crossover with Perry Platypus (Phineus and Ferb), you find out King Micky has been training Donald's nephews to help him fight the Nightmares and get to help-out Darkwing Duck before they go to Vegas. Too bad none of this is as good as it sounds.
zelda_queen
Sep. 23rd, 2011 09:45 pm (UTC)
I saw the bit with Darkwing Duck, specifically the part after, where Marina is pretending to fly around like him and giggling like a child who just met their hero. And the Vegas scene, oh lord. "Well, we're on a dangerous mission to save people from a horrible fate and monsters. Let's take a break to go to a spa! :D"
yaoihuntresse
Sep. 24th, 2011 04:54 am (UTC)
It's those creepy parts that keep her character from being too boring unfortunately. I honestly almost miss Marina being a Mary-Sue because the obnoxiousness kept the story from being too dull (and not in the best way).
zelda_queen
Sep. 24th, 2011 06:22 pm (UTC)
I'm seriously wondering how she had intended/still intends to finish this thing. 8/ She's just copying the plots of the movies, with her characters occasionally commenting. What, was she going to copy the climax of Kingdom Hearts as well?
yaoihuntresse
Sep. 24th, 2011 06:47 pm (UTC)
I'd like to get my hands on the original, first edition since it was the farthest she got.
zelda_queen
Sep. 25th, 2011 03:16 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing that. How far did she get? (or was it taken down before you saw it at all?)
yaoihuntresse
Sep. 25th, 2011 11:50 pm (UTC)
It was taken down before I got there. I hear John the Enforcer (http://john-the-enforcer.deviantart.com/), who's doing in fanfic of her work, might have a copy.

Basically his work is based off the original edition where his Mary-Sue is a character in Marina's crew. Just like Marina, he's immature (though not as bad as she is), kisses Marina's ass and angsts like crazy.
zelda_queen
Sep. 28th, 2011 03:12 am (UTC)
Huh, I must look into his fic as well. A Sue from a Sue. O_o I don't think I've ever heard of that before.
yaoihuntresse
Sep. 28th, 2011 03:50 am (UTC)
Let's just say it's "interesting".
yaoihuntresse
Sep. 22nd, 2011 02:39 pm (UTC)
BTW, good luck with any mock you do. Here's the new version: http://disneyfan-01.deviantart.com/gallery/23660133
yaoihuntresse
Aug. 26th, 2009 05:12 am (UTC)
Once again, isn't it nice that Marina gets away with how snotty know-it-all she is. I know teenagers who are more mature than her.
( 24 Ratings — Give Us Ratings! )